Surrender

I've started and stopped this post so many times. It feels like the past three days have gone so quickly and so much shift has occurred. Three days ago, on the new moon, Jenny and Jason, our fearless AcroYoga leaders shared with the teachers community that after 8 years of sharing this practice, they have bravely chosen to go their own way... to a degree. They are both still fully invested and passionate about the practice and seeing it grow and expand, but they have decided to focus more on their unique offerings and step deeper into their truths. So AcroYoga is not going anywhere; and what is occurring within this community is beautiful and so authentic. Our teachers have chosen to elect more of a back seat so that we can all step in as stronger teachers and leaders of community with a fuller offering and bring a great sense of radical presence into every room we enter. The start of a new moon cycle, represents a time of release and renewal. Every day, while in this teacher training, we begin with a song; a chant to a divine presence or practice that we aspire to embody and from which to learn. We have sung to Ganesh to overcome our obstacles, we have sung to Shiva to invite in the power of transformation and today we sang to Hanuman which invited in the precious reminder that we always have a choice. This magical, mythical monkey has the ability to jump across oceans to search for Rama's beloved Sita but he chooses to do it in his own way. He often forgets that he has this ability to extend his legs and leap around the world, so when he is reminded of this power, he continues along his journey, though as he chooses. He is never rushed or forced; Hanuman has a strong sense of self; he recognizes his strength and power and always chooses the best way to share his unique gifts. Today, this is my inspiration. The past three days have encouraged me to step into my light and make my voice heard even more. It's been such an interesting journey to be in a creative space with so many other amazing teachers. At times I feel so powerfully supported and eager to share my own unique contribution to the circle of collective wisdom that is present in this group. Though what has come up recently for me and for others as well, is that within a space of so many strong, bright personalities it is easy to slip into the background and feel small.  Somehow, I have allowed this to occur for me, while amongst so many talented people. This seems to reoccur within my life. I am reminded of one of my favorite poems by Marianne Williamson: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. The more awesomeness I exude within myself, the more I will ignite the same in others- man, I thought I had at least figured this one out! This has been yet another, humbling day... thank God. I am feeling so much graciousness. The biggest moment is that I have been able to let go of some resistance I have been carrying for almost a year. Relationships are hard in general; there can be so much bliss and in the next moment so much struggle. Taking the time to sit with the emotions and situations that arise, slowing down to take a deep breath and really absorb what is happening is so amazingly powerful. I have so many amazing blessings in my life; an incredibly loving husband that elevates and inspires me every day, an incredible home, beautiful, supportive friends and family, and I do work that I absolutely love. So this lingering factor, the AcroYoga relationship that didn't quite make sense, this uncomfortable weight and heaviness on my heart that I have been carrying has been lifted. Relationships still take time and effort and I always welcome it, but at this moment I am so excited for ALL the relationships in my life to go deeper. The layers of the lotus flower that is my heart, are so abundant and I feel I have only peeled back a few petals in the vast potential of where my heart can unfurl.